Rose Thorne(She/Her)

Times got tough after they dropped his mascot gig.

"Hi, please come and parent for us for below minimum wage, and somehow also manage to feed and house yourself.

No, we won’t help you, just be independently wealthy but not too wealthy or we’ll think you’re better than us.

Thanks!"

My disappearance will be my sign.

Out in the middle of nowhere with goats, cats, and Great Pyrenees.

Wait, Hollywood?

You mean I didn’t have to duel my girlfriend on a high mountaintop and then spend a month surviving together after our allies abandoned us? Like, we thought that’s how you start dating.

Fuck.

“It’s a Japanese balloon! Shoot it down!”

“No, it’s Venus.”

“It’s a Roman god, shoot her down!”

Do you need to cover a larger area? Spray.

Do you need precision, or to get a hard to reach spot? Stream.

Understanding what we need is the first step of action.

Have you tried shoving something up a species cloaca?

We’d have more dead chicken farmers.

Chickens are opportunistic omnivores. They will eat their dead, they will eat others eggs, they will eat their own goddamn eggs, if in desperate need.

If that bothers you, never look into pigs and wild boar.

“Easy to Use”. I certainly hope so, it’s a fucking spray bottle. What’s the hard to use option? Waiting until a new moon to summon Ba-Kok, God of Chickens to ask for a stay of cannibalism?

Of course they’d be planning a live action. Why has that become the go-to? Hell, why even a reboot‽ The original creator is still involved with the comics! He even considers them a direct continuation of the show!

I blame Disney.

IF THEY KEPT ON, WE WOULDN’T HAVE THIS PROBLEM!