The NyQuil is gonna win forever.

Word to the wise: if you work extra hours and weekends to prevent a layoff, you are on a sinking ship using a shot glass to keep water out. Let the ship sink.

Haunted houses are old. There’s no way McMansions will last long enough for ghosts to sprout.

MLK was assassinated by the government

The town also has gay liberals.

He thought he was on Google but was too lazy to delete the text field so he rolled with it.

He should have demanded $8 million and said that god would call him home if he didn’t reach his goal like what Oral Robert’s did.