So straight out the gate: I don’t ever really flirt (yes, even if I like the girl). And I’m not sure whether I should change strategies. So hence my question.
Note: I am a guy.
Edit: Thank you all for your input. I have come to the realisation I need to let the other party (better) know I am romantically interested in them. Either by means of flirtation or otherwise.
Isn’t flirting the accepted way of signaling to another person, that you’re interested in them in a certain way? I mean I talk to lots of different people of different genders in my life. And I’m mostly very nice to people and find interesting topics to talk about. But how are they supposed to find out if it’s just a nice conversation, or if I want to meet them again, or if I want to go on a date with them?
If I’m having a friendly chat with someone and I suggest we meet again in a different setting, wouldn’t that be a clear enough sign?
I’d say yes. That’d be a clear sign. And bordering on what I’d call flirting. If you say “Hey, I really enjoyed that conversation, let’s meet for a coffee some day, how can I text you?”
It’d say it’s polite and does the job. And there’s no need to be super explicit, unless you want to initiate a one-night-stand.
When given chance, this is basically the way I go about it. Just a quick on-the-side question: How quickly do you usually suggest something like that?
What would you call flirting?
I don’t know why everyone else here says “No.” Maybe it’s down to preference. I usually like people not just for their outer appearance, but to a greater degree for their intelligence, wits, humor, similar perspective on life… And it just takes time to talk about all of that. So, I rather keep it down with being suggestive and just let things play out. Took me a long time. But everyone is different.
I’m not sure if I have a good definition of flirting. I’m more a problem-oriented person. I do whatever gets the job done. If I want to meet someone again, I just tell them that, as you said. And I usually don’t have any ulterior motives. And I’m currently not in the dating game, so I’m pretty much relaxed on parties and social events in that regard. But I think I’ve always gone to social events to have fun, and not so much to do dating.
It depends a bit on who your target audience is. I think it’s usually a good idea to roughly be how you are and not play some role. But I’m not a dating expert, so I might be wrong.