• KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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    2 days ago

    The more your relationships are about appearance, the less you can know about yourself and them since you are certain to not chase a partner to be a trophy among other effects

    • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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      2 days ago

      It’s not about being a “trophy”. I just want to be with someone that I’m physically attracted to, and who is physically attracted to me. I don’t think that’s unreasonable. Obviously we need to have compatible personalities/interests beyond that but it is a big factor.

        • Soulg@ani.social
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          1 day ago

          You don’t choose that. It’s different for everybody.

          That’s like saying people choose whether or not to be gay or bi versus being straight.

          • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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            8 hours ago

            If you aren’t attractive or attracted to someone the couple will not be happy. That’s what you’re deciding for others. Condemning some to be alone forever.

            If you don’t want to, you don’t need to focus on that. You can also adjust how much. Personally I get energy from being attracted and attractive, but I don’t control what others choose.

            • Soulg@ani.social
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              2 hours ago

              I don’t even know what point you’re trying to make. Not everybody is going to be attractive to every other person.

              My gf and I are both attracted to each other, but there’s many people (millions, even) who would find neither of us attractive. Those people aren’t obligated to potentially date us just because it might make us sad that they’re not attracted to us.

              • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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                2 hours ago

                In these days it’s often hard for Americans to understand. Forcing, or saying others cannot or should not do x, is completely unnecessary when it’s something they do in private. I know you have trouble with the arguments and that’s because there is no existing valid argument for why you should not choose yourself how much appearance means to you. you. Not others. What is your preference may not be others, and it’s possible (believe it or not) to allow others to be off doing their preference. You don’t have to kill kids or anything in schools before you act, you can already right now choose, but only for you! Mind you! Only for you, and not for another. You may not choose how much another wants that or force others to want to have your marriage, or exit theirs. It can be confusing but it is possible to do this without slaughtering children and deporting workers that don’t have your skincolor. You can do it

        • lightnsfw@reddthat.com
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          1 day ago

          I’ve never been able to force myself to be romantically interested in some one I wasn’t attracted to. I’ve tried. I’m pretty sure I’ve been on the opposite side of that as well and it made for a shitty relationship.

          • KeenFlame@feddit.nu
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            8 hours ago

            Yeah it isn’t fair if you do it and don’t want to. Therefore, you may chose. You are arguing that nobody should be allowed to choose.