I don’t know if the glass is currently up to spec but the old crown vics with the interceptor package are quietly tanks

I’m a proud graduate from the Terrence Howard school of math.

I guess they haven’t asked me or it’d be 91%

It’s your duty as a human. Think of it as pest control.

They’ve declared war, it’s time to start making ice melt

One time I was both fine and dandy for about an hour, but nobody asked how I was!

Good first step, now make him write “I will eat my calming banana instead of getting angry” 1000 times on the chalkboard like Bart.

YES!

Let’s all refer to him as an African immigrant every time he’s mentioned, cause all immigrants are bad right? What’s good for the goose…

That’s just the tray that holds the rack I put the bacon on, it’s supposed to be seasoned in grease

You know how you get to Carnegie Hall?

I’m a white dude who admittedly has t been very vocal.

Time to do some singing exercises and warm up the old pipes.

Deer come up to eat the apples and other berries from the garden, now deer is in freezer ready for grill.

Hillbilly tip: soak venison in buttermilk for a few hours to remove the gamey taste

Terrible film, moral of the story is learn other languages if you’re working in a polyglot place

The whole first scene of the original was the Norwegian guy screaming about the monster and the yank base chief just shoots him instead of the randomly appearing dog

Mary: The greatest cheater/liar in history and we all have the children celebrate it

Yup. What’s the easiest way to crimp a little weight on a line when you’re tying a lure? The Mark 1 tooth.

If you have a Roku tv, there’s literally a whole channel

He won. Every person employed by the TSA and every shoe removed is a posthumous W for crippling America

Starbuck doing wheelies on her motorcycle around this potato