It’s called a circular triangle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circular_triangle

Absolutely. It’s fascism. There’s no doubt. However, the points I mentioned are, I believe, the ones most relevant to the question of the post.

Check #5, #7, and, of course, #12:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ur-Fascism

It’s no big deal. He overslept and in the rush to get out accidentally put on the pants of the child he was raping the night before. What Republican hasn’t been in this situation? They’ll laugh about it later and he’ll get some good-natured ribbing.

Cats are territorial. You are relying on just luck that they will get along. You’re much better off not trying. Your cat doesn’t want a friend.

Four “add another cat” stories for you:

1. My oldest had a cat and decided to get another cat after quite some time. However, the first cat had already established the entire house as her territory. They followed all the recommendations to try to introduce a second cat, but it made no difference. Now they can’t bring themselves to give up cat #2, so they have divided their home up to keep the cats separated.

2. My second child and his fiancee had one cat. They decided to add two more. Their cats fought. When they tried to keep the new cats in a room and introduce them gradually, their old cat was so violently opposed to their presence that it tore apart the carpet under the door trying to g et at them. However, they ended up moving. Once in the new apartment, all three cats stopped fighting.

3. Many years ago, a co-worker agreed to take a third cat. There was no fighting between the cats, but one of her cats was not happy. He started peeing on every surface he could get to. If you think the cat wasn’t doing it intentionally, he straddled her toaster so he could pee into it. Cats know how to communicate their displeasure. By the time she was able to re-home the new cat, the damage was done. Apart from the small appliances she had to replace, she had to rip up the floor in her house and replace it to get rid of the smell of cat pee.

4. My wife and I added a second cat years ago, but we did it at the same time we moved into our house. There were some fights between them, but they were just because of their personality differences. The new cat was young and wanted to play, while the older cat had reached the stage of life where he wanted to see how much fat he could gain. She would attack him and chase him around and that would piss him off, but they usually got along and he got in better shape. When she got too obnoxious for him, he would chase her under the TV, and make her stay there in time-out.

So, based on my experience, the only time you can safely add a cat to your home is when you move.

Your parents wiped your ass. There’s no reason to be embarrassed about anything.

Just say it quick, like ripping off a bandaid:

“I need to see a doctor about a hemorrhoid that won’t go away.”

It’s not even in the top 1000 worst things kids have to tell parents. If you can’t tell them about a hemorrhoid, how are you ever gonna be able to tell them about the gay prostitute you accidentally knocked unconscious, thought you killed, and then tied up in the basement after they woke up while you were trying to bury them?

If a hemorrhoid is the most embarrassing story you’ve got, you have no reason to be embarrassed.

Knowledge as well.

I want to see how they change the bulbs.

You don’t understand. They’re calling it $8 billion because that’s how much it will take in four years to fix the problem cancelling the contract causes.