A week, the fact that I love the Evangelion manga but don’t like the anime(though I do enjoy the movies. I don’t know what it is), and I genuinely have no fucking clue why I kept engaging.
I think we just kinda gave up, in the end. There wasn’t ever really a point, it wasn’t even a “thing is bad” argument, it was “I just don’t really enjoy experiencing thing x way” “here’s why you’re wrong for that”.
Surviving.
Right now, it feels like all I can do. Keep going, keep reaching out to other members of the local LGBT community to help be a wall to lean on, keep telling my partners that I love them. Keep sheltering whatever tiny spark is left.
And making sure that spark is fed, in whatever little ways I can. Letting myself be more open, letting my colors flash a bit more. Trying to smile in the face of hate.
As to my take on the situation, it’s fucked. There’s no nuance to it. We’re watching our siblings and ourselves being actively erased, waking up wondering when our actual existence will be a crime. Even if we make it through, things somehow get better, there’s so much trust that has been completely broken.
Our government has pissed on lines that, even with a total change of leadership, will take time to repair. Both within the country and on a global scale. Many people within the country have done the same, there will be no taking back things said and done while they thought it was “okay”. There’s no forgetting the hate that has been exposed.
Sadly we had to work the day of, and one of us had a client early the next morning, but we watched Mars Express together and then played a little Stardew Valley. It wasn’t much, kinda really just things we’d already do together, but it was actually really nice.
Was going to bring up pow wows. Great way to find Native foods, learn about culture and history, and for many, most of the proceeds go back into the tribes hosting the event.