I really doubt there will ever be an invasion of Canada. Barely anyone in America would go along with a massive war (and that’s what it would require). Congress doesn’t want it — not even Republicans. The business community doesn’t want it. Maybe a few hardcore MAGA types would be willing to fight for him but in reality, most MAGA types are old, fat slobs, not young people of fighting age.

Plus, we couldn’t occupy Iraq and Afghanistan. There’s no way we’d be able to occupy all of Canada. (Especially Quebec. It seems like they’d sooner fight to the death than become Americans.)

I know the point of this is probably just intimidation but 35 companies? Are there 35 social networks that moderate content? Why is Apple included? Is there some conspiracy theory that they’re censoring conservative App Store reviews?

A smaller phone with flagship-level cameras and a headphone jack. I know I’ll have to charge it more often or it’ll be thicker. I’m willing to make that trade-off.

And not a slimmer phone. Make it as thick as a wallet full of business cards. I don’t give a shit. I use my phone for reading text, listening to music, and taking pictures. Just make the fucking camera top of the line and let me use my good headphones. If it’s several millimeters thicker, so be it.