30 minutes, or it’s free.

Is it a comically-oversized red button like Mad Money that plays a sound effect when you slap it?

No one suspected the Ewoks.

My son liked saying Ba. He called me Baba before saying papa or daddy.

“The end is near.” is now a marketing tagline. Capitalism has become complete.

Mentioning JK properties promotes transphobia.

The witch only disappears when we all stop acknowledging her.

“I gotta save the blue lining!”

America in the 2010s is the new Iran in the 1970s.

For you, they recommend a testicle undershirt.

‘These lifeboats are taking up too much deck space on the Titanic.”

I can’t believe I instantly recognized it, too. I must’ve really liked that episode as a kid.

The floor might be too rough for human feet.

You want Makita kneecaps, they wear more evenly and have better shock absorption.

Paris, Texas is a personal favorite.

There’s going through shit and being extra vulnerable to normal interactions, and then there’s going through shit and taking it out on people around you.

Those who take their shit out on others don’t deserve to be treated like they’re going through shit. They deserve to be treated like they’re taking shit out on others.

These are fun to laugh at, but it genuinely could be that the cook was replaced or improved their skills.

She’s in a rest home telling stories about the time she scared her co-worker by making a duplicate of an important disk and stapling it to a binder.

We sky bad

“No, God, no!”