Yeah, but how long do you have to dampen your crack in order to feel the equivalent clean of two dry wipes?

I get that’s the principle, but how long are you supposed to spray for? How much pressure? Is there a trick to it? In my own limited experience, it doesn’t actually do much more than dampen the poo.

Okay Team Bidet, how are they actually supposed work?

Seems like you’re hurting people’s feelings because you’re struggling with empathy, perhaps as a downstream effect of your depression, or whatever the cause of the depression is. It’s obvious that you’re in a bad mental space. Acknowledgement is the first step, but getting better should be the goal. For your own sake at least, but also for the people close to you that you are hurting because of you.

And yes, this might mean the friendship is over.