Then stop doomscrolling.
Said to someone with ADHD isn’t really something I was able to do without putting things in place to aid me to do that. The same way I couldn’t stop using Reddit all day until I got an app that locked me out of things after a certain duration.
You may do well to try and understand that not all peoples brains work the same and some people need more assistance than others to do things that seem easy.
Maybe it’s not a Lemmy thing and it’s an app thing, but Voyager has a setting to hide NSFW content.
What an odd take. We can filter out NSFW work so why shouldn’t we be able to filter other things we are not interested in or are contributing to our poor mental health.
I for one have filtered out Elon Musk and Trump because it is nauseating. If I’m in a headspace where I want to see them then I can remove the filters but generally I want to stop doom scrolling.
Any examples so we don’t just have to guess at what you and OP saw and neglected to highlight the ones in question?
I must not have explained that part well enough.
I was only asking for the last borrow of £70 back which was meant to be last Wednesday. The remaining £600 is already in a payment plan and once he has cleared his debts with other people first.
If drywall isn’t a wall I don’t know what is 😉
Thanks for the reply.
This is the major factor for me, as I waste so much time waiting around and stuff and for me time is the most precious thing. I don’t care about money really, as long as I can pay my bills and do my hobbies it’s secondary to having fun pursuing my hobbies.
You’re also spot on about how his time keeping is improved back when I would be getting fucked up with them more frequently. Which to me highlights their priorities. Now as an addict (recovering) myself I tend to give people a lot of slack because I get it and I get what comes from that lifestyle. It’s just recently it’s been stressing me more.
Maybe I’ve spoiled him too much too because now a lot of the time it’s just expected that I’m buying food or paying for his fuel when we go to climb outside or something. Like he would even suggest we get takeaway for tea but has no money. Like what. I would never do that. Or if I offer him a drink from the shop he would say yes because it’s a free drink and not because he needs a drink right then, where I would be like nah I’m good if I don’t need one.
I can relate to this as before my diagnosis or when I was in a really low spot I would make plans and then the day comes and I don’t want to move because I am not in the headspace to keep to them, but I would let people know.
Maybe talk to them?
I am willing to give this a go, although I have no idea how I would phrase it and I feel it would not be seen as constructive, but I shouldn’t just assume that and maybe I should try again.
Thanks for the reply.
I absolutely get that some people are bad with time estimations, as it’s one of the hurdles for someone with ADHD and I have had to really work hard to improve on my time planning skills.
I think it’s more than life just happens though as it’s consistent. Like every time we are linking up. He sets expectations of me that I can’t set of him. He will be late 99% of the time and shrug it off likes it’s nothing, but if I leave my house a few mins later because I was speaking to family longer than expected then he would call me out for it. Like we live in Manchester and we could be in Liverpool where we all know it’s 50 mins to drive back home. His son could ring and he would say I’ll be back in 20 mins. Even if I said bro it’s an hour drive he would just say yeah it’s fine he’s slow anyway. Like that is not bad time keeping that is just thinking about him not wanting to wait when he gets back but his kid could be ready 40 mins early now.
Do you mean don’t say no worries if I don’t mean it? As I agree I shouldn’t have done that, but I also didn’t want to just moan as whenever I do he shrugs it off as not an issue.
I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt for 25 years and his behaviour isn’t changing and perhaps he has undiagnosed issues that he needs to address, but that is something he has to want to do and I would support him in that.
The money thing I don’t think was eating him, just that he was a day late and I don’t care about it being late. Shit I probably spend £200 a month just funding him cause he never has money. It was the putting blame on me for having the audacity to prod him.
I know I am an idiot for isolating when down because when I spiral I can spiral bad and it’s a self feeding cycle then that becomes hard to get out of and I do try these days to still socialise even if I don’t want to be here.
Finally, I have tried for so long to point out silver linings, but he just isn’t receptive to change or growth. Like the moaning about cyclists example, if I say that’s one less car on the road taking up space he’s like nah fuck em they’re assholes and they don’t pay road tax. Like WTF that doesn’t even make sense. Why hate something so much when it means nothing.
The same for complaining about traffic when we are part of the traffic. What makes our journey more important than anyone’s else’s journey?
If he complains about immigrants and I try and say hey these people are all coming here working jobs and paying taxes and spending that money I our community, maybe we should think why the media wants us hating poor people instead of the dude with billions of pounds.
Or how he hates on trans people, when I try and ask why he doesn’t know. He just reads the news and has hatred for people he has never met.
This is actually something all our other friends used to comment on that he is exhausting to be around as he literally never sees the good in anything.
I am aware I am emotional right now so I’m not making any decisions in this state and just wanted to vent a little and get some perspectives of others.
What’s amusing about the negativity is he works with another friend who we all lost contact with 10 years ago as he got married and stuff and he complains about that guys negativity and how it drains him, so perhaps he doesn’t realise he is almost as bad as that guy but it was amusing to hear him complain about the same things he does.
Thanks for the reply. I didn’t manage to fall asleep yet, so figured I’d check for replies.
I am sorry that you went through that with your friends and that you had to make that choice and I’m sorry for your accident, I can’t even imagine how that must feel.
I am starting to realise I shouldn’t do things for people that they wouldn’t do for me, but I also can’t just change who I am. If I can help someone or do something for them or be considerate then I just will.
It sounds arrogant to say I am the smartest person in the room, but that’s exactly what it’s been like with this group all my life. Sure other smart people have been around, oddly many of them were drug dealers. At work I am not the smartest person in the room so I guess I have two rooms now.
I also asked this to ChatGPT, the horror, and funnily it said something similar in that it’s okay to grow and I shouldn’t dwell on lost time with these friends as these experiences have made me who I am today. Altgohhh easier said than done.
Hey we’ve interacted before and I tagged you as an asshole. It seems validated after reading this thread.
Sergei. After Sergei Rachmaninov.
Being in a bad place.
I was bad for Benzos, Codeine, and Gabapentin not too long ago.
Worst experience of my life was coming off Xanax cold turkey cause I didn’t know you could die from that.
Fell in a canal one day and decided to just get rid of my supply, then came the worst two weeks ever.
The sick thing is I yearn for benzos quite a lot and it’s only due to me not knowing the current darkweb markets to buy it from that stops me. Not the fact they could be laced with fentanyl. 😔
Not quite.
I can only describe in this way to try and explain.
You start work 01/01/2025.
No stocks given.
1 year later 01/01/2026
You get given say 10 shares unvested which vest after two years.
1 year later 01/01/2027
Nothing beats but you get another 10 shares unvested which vest after two years.
1 year later 01/01/2028
The first set you were given have vested and you can sell them or keep them. The second set have not vested as they have one more year to go. You get a third set of shares which again vest in two years
Then the cycle repeats.
Hope I explained that well enough.
Thanks I understand it now.
This isn’t what we had at Apple. They would vest after two years. So after year two you would have stocks vesting every year and when you leave you would only be leaving the last two years on the table, which seems more reasonable than the Amazon example.
What do you mean by back-weighted and how is it fucked up? Genuinely don’t know.
I worked for Apple on the Genius Bar in the Uk and we had the same schedule. I didn’t see it as a bad thing and when it was time to leave to become a software engineer I just had to weigh how much money I would lose that had not vested vs potential in new career.
Are they not just an incentive to keep staff. I will say that I’ve had 60+ jobs in my life and aside from my current one for a small company as an engineer, Apple was leaps and bounds above all the others in terms of support, benefits, and just a good work life balance. It was because I was surrounded by talented people and supported that I got my shit together and learned to program, which Apple also made many concessions to allow me the time.
America is wild man. You’ve got a dictator doing what ever he wants and then you’ve got states suing, I don’t even know who they’re suing (Trump?), judges blocking orders and stuff.
Some humans suck so much. Like this whole thread is a painful read, even as a random European.
I wish I was. I could just turn myself off.