2 beers does not make one an alcoholic. 20 beers? Maybe.

A bigger gun.

Yeah he’s a good boy. He’s my ex’s cat and is sadly no longer part of my life. My glasses were unharmed.

You’re a good human

That’s double plus ungood

We’re censoring “nazi” now?

Oh hey I didn’t know Meidas Touch had a podcast, I’ve been watching them on youtube for a while.

If HP does anything with that IP they will 110% find a way to make it even worse.

Would swipe right

This is a metaphor for my life

Ants can’t lift 5000x their own weight but maybe OP is being British and using commas as decimal points.