When I was a child, I would lay awake at night, in retrospect it was anxiety and depression due to loneliness (only child, sheltered, private school with less than 10 kids).

What I did, without the knowledge or concept of anxiety and depression, was that I would let me thoughts run and I would use logic and reasoning to get through them.

“What if a kid makes fun of me for this and that?” “I would then do this”, and then I would play out every single possible situation in my head on what the most common, worst, and best outcomes were.

A decade of doing that helped me.

I can so relate. The mistakes. The regrets. The guilt. The anxiety. The sleep disorders. I’ve got it all in spades.

I don’t know what to tell you? I’m working on it myself. Sometimes I think of people who stepped in and helped me through difficult times in my life, and then I try to pay it forward even in small ways to other people I meet who are themselves in a bad place. I find this therapeutic.

I suppose on the bright side, my past has made me a humble person who is not quick to judge others. But there’s a fragility there too, and I fear for how I would cope with whatever new challenges await. These are rather uncertain times.

Maybe you can take some comfort in knowing you’re not the only one in this funk? I think you’ve actually made me feel better about it a little bit. Anyway, best of luck to you that you find your way.

Remember how forgiving you are of others and apply that to yourself

I stay high to keep my long term memory at bay. Unfortunately I’m still covered in scars which makes it harder…

I get hung up on the occasional thing, I don’t have pervasive anxiety, but when that thing crosses my mind I would reflexively say a phrase to myself that is… very unhealthy. Once this mental tic gets established it makes the thing that was stuck get more ingrained so if I say the tic in my head I will just immediately start repeating “love yourself” over and over until the impulse to say the other thing has passed, eventually I’ll feel the impulse with out saying the tic and just start saying “love yourself” again and again until the impulse passes, after that it slowly fades out. I know it’s corny but it helps me when I find my mind reflexively responding to a memory with intense hostility

It’s possible to bury old mistakes in a pile of new experiences, but you have to allow yourself to have those experiences

Forgiveness for yourself very powerful.
When I needed to be forgiven and I couldn’t reach that person this practice helped me a lot ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGd1F6QoHsw) Of course, mindfulness practices are very useful too. Best of luck.

Figure out what I did wrong, apologize if necessary, figure out how to prevent making the same mistake in the future, and move on. You can’t change the past, all you can do is try to atone and avoid making the same mistake again.

You don’t.

It’s okay to remember your past mistakes and regrets since they help you make better decisions in the future

Accept the mistake instead of judging it. Take piece of paper and write down the mistake you made and what you feel about it and what next are you going to do to either improve or avoid that situation. Use the pen and paper to bring the thought out of the mind onto the paper. You might be tempted to use screen/typing but trust me use the pen/paper. Once you do that just destroy the paper.

brute force new mistakes

Focus on present. Everybody makes mistakes. Do what you can now.

What works is planning. Plan what you’d do, if the situation were to arise again. Once you have a plan, your mind will stop bugging you. Works for me!

personally i refuse to, as soon as i fuck up i berate myself for everything until i want to throw myself into a meat grinder

edit: not recommending anyone else do this, this is my specific success plan only and nobody else should use it

my therapist would say you dont have to cure your anx disorder but to live with it. instead try different techniques and practice those that work. ACT. CBT. DBT. good luck on the forever fight.