If you’re outwardly likable, relatable and able to be all chatty smiles and eye contact with everyone you meet, people are going to be much nicer to you because they’ve assumed much nicer things about you.
Due to this, you probably only have pleasant connotations with frequenting places where you are noticed by for your habits by strangers.
Shopping online is much less stressful imo. And if I want a fresh cheesecake, I make it myself.
And how long before it’s decided that I’m being rude for not making eye contact or replying to a question wrong, and then my appearence/behaviour starts being scrutinised whenever they see me?
All my little otherwise mostly unoffensive differences then start piling up and adding to any negative feelings these people have about me, and then one day it’s decided that I’m just ‘too spacy’ so I must be ‘on drugs’ or my flinching at loud noises means I’m ‘proper crazy’.
Then if I keep going to this shop and I ignore the random smirking/whispering from behind the counter and/or the security guard following half a step behind me, and I write off any hostile or weird behaviour towards me as these people obviously just having a bad day as surely it can’t be my fault, I don’t even recognise them etc, … you can guess how charming people start being then, I’m sure.
I’m gonna be honest, in every customer service job I’ve worked I would not have given any of that a second thought. Working in a supermarket / bar / cafe etc means you see some actual arseholes easily often enough that “acting a bit odd” or “dressed unusually” doesn’t even register. You have my sympathy for any unpleasant experiences like that that you’ve had, because obviously just as much as customers can be arseholes so can employees, but most people on both sides of that just want to go about their day
There’s a meme for long ago with two women giggling and pointing. The anxiety riddled person thinks they are being laughted at. The confident person sees their behavior as flirting.
I’m pretty good at being as you described and I still prefer online shopping whenever possible. Ah, the joys of introversion! People are often surprised when I describe myself as an introvert, and my response is that I fake extroversion well.
Oh, you don’t have to be likeable to have pleasant shopping experiences. Good manners is a good starting point… And I’m not being sarcastic or demeaning; many customers can’t or won’t be civil.
If you’re outwardly likable, relatable and able to be all chatty smiles and eye contact with everyone you meet, people are going to be much nicer to you because they’ve assumed much nicer things about you.
Due to this, you probably only have pleasant connotations with frequenting places where you are noticed by for your habits by strangers.
Shopping online is much less stressful imo. And if I want a fresh cheesecake, I make it myself.
Sure, but unless you’re actively unpleasant as a customer then becoming a recognised regular shouldn’t be any worse than a neutral thing
And how long before it’s decided that I’m being rude for not making eye contact or replying to a question wrong, and then my appearence/behaviour starts being scrutinised whenever they see me?
All my little otherwise mostly unoffensive differences then start piling up and adding to any negative feelings these people have about me, and then one day it’s decided that I’m just ‘too spacy’ so I must be ‘on drugs’ or my flinching at loud noises means I’m ‘proper crazy’.
Then if I keep going to this shop and I ignore the random smirking/whispering from behind the counter and/or the security guard following half a step behind me, and I write off any hostile or weird behaviour towards me as these people obviously just having a bad day as surely it can’t be my fault, I don’t even recognise them etc, … you can guess how charming people start being then, I’m sure.
I’m gonna be honest, in every customer service job I’ve worked I would not have given any of that a second thought. Working in a supermarket / bar / cafe etc means you see some actual arseholes easily often enough that “acting a bit odd” or “dressed unusually” doesn’t even register. You have my sympathy for any unpleasant experiences like that that you’ve had, because obviously just as much as customers can be arseholes so can employees, but most people on both sides of that just want to go about their day
You’re in your head. No one cares this much.
There’s a meme for long ago with two women giggling and pointing. The anxiety riddled person thinks they are being laughted at. The confident person sees their behavior as flirting.
I’m pretty good at being as you described and I still prefer online shopping whenever possible. Ah, the joys of introversion! People are often surprised when I describe myself as an introvert, and my response is that I fake extroversion well.
Oh, you don’t have to be likeable to have pleasant shopping experiences. Good manners is a good starting point… And I’m not being sarcastic or demeaning; many customers can’t or won’t be civil.
That’s some serious level of antisocial if you have to make things yourself rather than go out and buy them.