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9 months agoAnyone thinking that lemmy is a welcoming space to women should read through that thread first.
Edit: the current state of Lemmy and the fediverse reminds me heavily of early reddit, for better and for worse. You can curate some pretty supportive communities if you are careful picking them out, they remain well moderated, etc. But there are plenty of places where you’ll get scummy content if you wander or if posts attract too much attention.
Just so you know, someone isn’t “really nice” if they make jokes like that. Maybe she used to be nice, but she isn’t acting that way now.
I’m not sure how old you are, but it sounds like you’re both still teenagers or maybe young adults. People are trying to figure themselves out at that time, and sometimes what they try out is edgelord (especially when the edgelords are gaining political power). She may be testing boundaries of what is socially acceptable, in which case it’s in her best interests as well as yours to gently push back against this kind of behavior (or more forcefully later if she doesn’t take a hint).
Something like, “hey, it makes me uncomfortable when you make those ‘identify as’ jokes. You know I’m nonbinary and that sort of humor makes me feel like you don’t respect me. I fully support your identity, including your faith, and as your friend I hope you would do the same for me.”
Even if you are 1-on-1 for that chat, she is almost certainly going to respond negatively to that, so I would drop it there, but be prepared to remind her that you don’t like it later. Ideally after some reflection she wakes up and realizes she’s causing harm to your friendship, but be prepared to break it off entirely with her if she doesn’t want to treat you with respect.