A friend of mine used to cancel appointments a lot. A common friend of ours got really pissed about having their appointments canceled repetedly, often very late or last minute. Their friendship broke over it, tough it was only the last staw.
Appointments i had with my friend got canceled too a lot. I spoke about it with her and it turned out that she was having mental health issues and just didn’t find the curage to be open about it. So we talked it over and now the agreement is that i always treat plans we make as optional. A cancelation is expected and never a big deal, i’ll always have a backup plan ready.
I guess what i’m saying is, don’t think it nececarily has to be about a person not wanting to meet with you, sometimes they just can’t. And that is fine.
Communication? In my friendship? It’s less likely than you think!
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sometimes they just can’t. And that is fine.
No, it’s not fine.
Even if it’s because of their mental problems - it still hurts and rightfully depletes your initiative to make shared plans.Yeah I hate this expectation that I have to be completely ok with “friends” avoiding me and cancelling plans. I’m not ok with it, it sucks, and if you keep doing it I’ll find new friends.
I’m glad your mental health is fine.
Yeah, it just makes me not want to make plans with that person. And I say that as someone who struggled with depression and anxiety. We all have limited budgets for emotional work, and there is a level of flakiness where I just don’t feel like trying to be friends with the person is worth the effort.
If they are at a close enough friendship where that sort of open, honest communication as Gloomy suggested can work, good, but from personal experience, trying to develop a new friendship with such a person can just be too hard when they don’t communicate, so I don’t know if their lack of engagement is from lack of interest or something else.
This is where your choice to associate with people comes in to play!
If people hurt you and you’re not able to empathize with them or give them grace then resentment is inbound and that’s a relationship neither of you need!
It wasn’t fine even in the OP situation. That’s why they had to look for a solution.
This is where I exercise the free will I’m trying to tell you about
You’re a good friend and compassionate human being. Honestly, more energy than I would probably have invested but I respect the hell out of you for it.
#belikeGloomy
Very valid tbh
“Sorry can’t go to the movie, it’s perfect kite weather! I’m going to the park and I’d for for you to join me!”
I uaed to love kites as a kid, never got enough time to play with them. Definit3ly relate
You should go get a kite and fly it today.
Or get an edible - as a substitute.
What if I told you that you could do both, at the same time.
Lol. Childish whimsy to brownie addiction pipeline
Do you wanna be as high as a kite or not?
Your keyboard is tied to a kite, by the looks of it!
I asked Mr. Bunnys to bring my water bottle upstairs and he said no, he had more important things to do.
Usually he isn’t so curt so I knew something was up and “angrily” demanded he show what was more important…
Anyways. He was right.
I realized my husband and I had truly become southern Californian when we considered canceling plans over “rain” (0.1” over the day).
My new home is in the Nordics, and first snow barely impacts traffic. Trains and buses are on time. It always makes me chuckle with schadenfreude because my old home was and still is the opposite: snow = chaos. Accidents, ridiculous delays, traffic jams…
Canceling “because it snowed” would not be a good excuse here. Unless you’re a plow operator.
On the flipside, the moment the temperature climbs over 30°C, we’re all melting!
Sincerely, Dane barely keeping it together in 24° 😁
Dude, it’s 27° here in New England and I’m dying. I feel ya. I was born for the cold.
It’s now climbed to 29 here and I’m sweat fountain whenever I leave the area of my floor fan for more than a minute 🥵😄
I too am built for the cold, quite literally!
I’m trying hard to bike away most of the seal blubber, though 😁
As a road cyclist, that makes complete sense.
/> steph doesn’t mention the plans were sky diving or bungee jumping
