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/c/suddenlydebian
Brilliant.
Shit, I need to try the third option, I think my wife will have to eat out
Lucky! My wife won’t do that.
Find a pretty enough girl and she 100% will.
Now I want an equal pizza theorem that mathematically shows a simple cutting method that guarantees equal pizza for everyone, depending on number of pieces. E.g. an inner circle that is halved plus an outer circle in quarters for six people, but ((2r)²-r²)/4 != r²/2, r being the inner circle.
Well, you could always cut ever thinner regular pizza slices, but that’s trivial.
B is completely wrong and if someone cut a pizza like that at a party I think they would be exiled.
If you want to cut a pizza like that cut one set of parallel lines and then cut in half, otherwise there will be crustless bits that are impossible to pick up without making a mess.
Dude the crustless slices are the best part about cutting a pizza this way!
Haha when its cut like that I refuse to eat the crust less. Its so mushy and no balance between toppings and crust. How do you hold it!!
Wherever you’re getting your pizza from, you need to stop, because I’ve literally never had an issue with floppy pizza and toppings sliding off. You’re clearly eating undercooked pizza.
I’m from a place where our regional pizza is cut into little squares, and it’s not as difficult or messy as you’re making it out to be
It’s probably cooked differently, most pizza I have had in the uk has a lot of sauce so it’s a nightmare to eat without something like the crust
There’s a pizza bar near me that makes a pizza sliced this way. It’s a cracker crust style. I get all the outer pieces that have some crunch. My wife gets the crustless inner pieces. I think her way is blasphemous, but it’s mutually beneficial.
It’s traditional where I’m from to cut thin crust pizzas (like the traditional local style) that way. Tbh I’ve grown to really love it even if I do appreciate a hand tossed style often as well
Nah mate. If it’s just you, you fold that bastard up taco style.
Or in Italian, a Calzone, which im pretty sure just means folded taco style bastard.
For thin crust I guess it’s just a party of one here.
Edit: apparently I’m the only one really pro square cuts. It’s just better for crustless/minimal crust styles
And if it’s Domino’s, then they pretend to cut it so that you have to go find a knife to finish the job because it sure looked sliced before I freaking sat down, David!
You don’t cut when it’s for you. You fold it and eat a pizza sandwich.
✨ calzone ✨
Low cal calzone zone.
No no the spiral is best. You start in the middle though.
Slide the pizza to the edge of the plate to nibble at.
I think option A is the only viable one here! B and C fuck up the crust-to-centre ratio
If you have a big group, just buy more pizza. That said, I do want to try eating a pizza spiral now
Tavern style pizza with its thin crispy crust is made for square slicing. Ratio issue really doesn’t exist for it.
Yup! Those corner pieces are surprisingly good.
I do want to try eating a pizza spiral now
You’re an adult. Do what you want.
But I’m invested now. Can you try it and report back?
Lmao if I do it, I’ll report back 😎
or a big party size square one, cutting a circle into squares is evil
I’ll give it a pass https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squaring_the_circle
An alchemist has been spotted in the wild
What about rounding the square?
It’s good if you want more crust.
4π > 2π
but even then, some people get crust and others don’t. I guessss that might suit some people’s preferences, but I feel like you’d end up left with most of the crust pieces
If your friends are leaving the crust get out of there and go find new friends!
ꞩ
If you like crust so much, then why don’t you go find friends who leave it?
That said, I do want to try eating a pizza spiral now
You start by eating crust only
The bigger problem for me is that it assumes you’re going to eat the whole pizza, and I could never manage that myself. Halfway through and you’re left with the middle of the pizza.
Well in the illustration the spiral is thick enough that you do get a decent amount of core along with the crust! I’ll take it
Yeah the square cut seems like a bad idea to me. Not the worst thing but why not just cut the pieces into smaller wedges if you’re trying to make sure more people get a chance at a fair share of food?
The crust to center ratio is already fucked by the size of pizza. Crust goes as r while center goes as r^2.
Yep although you can preserve the ratio by keeping the pizza the same size and increasing the number of slices.
Where’s the handle on a square piece of pizza? That edge of crust is what you hold on to in order to minimize mess.
What if we invented something you could use to hold on food without getting your hands dirty? Like, something akin to a pitchfork but smaller, that you can stab your food with to bring it to your mouth?
Option D, fold the pizza like a giant taco so you don’t have to clean a knife
Bro is eating a snek

What a thrill…
With darkness and silence through the night
B offends me every time. It’s a round pie, make slices. If it’s a square pizza do squares.
Had a friend do B to her cake at a recent birthday because she “saw on social media that it was better to distribute around at parties”. By the time she made the second cut we were all staring on in horror. Was very funny.
Follow the Mallarded road.


















