Hey look its school shooter edition Elon.
Did you know he was a bully in school? He claims he was bullied but his dad set the record straight. Elon was once pushed down a flight of stairs at school. Elons dad went to the hospital to find Elon crying and demanding his dad to get the kid who pushed him arrested. His dad goes and talks with the principal, police, the students and finds out that Elon had instigated the incident.
Turns out Elon had been bullying this student over the death of his father a few days earlier and he had been such a ruthless prick the kid snapped and pushed Elon down a flight of stairs. No one of authority felt it was fair to punish the kid since Elon had been a major twat and basically earned himself the injuries. Instead he switched Elon to another school.
What a pathological freak of nature.
If he’d kept elon there the future problem may have taken care of itself
why does he look like a transfem c programmer but with no fashion sense
Are you implying he isn’t?
I bet he couldn’t write hello world in C even with the help of Claude, an Indian education youtuber and someone with a four-letter nickname on the Linux mailing list.
He’s not cool enough to be
Maybe he could do a SQL query or make an HTML header.
Elon Musk is the personification of a moron’s hallucination of a genius.
I wish he’d die by the sword already. Or any other instrument, really.
My vote is for enlarged-infected-hemorrhoid disease.
Anal fissure that literally rips a new but hole for you
I want the HGH he’s taking to finally pop the organs in his chest.
Can’t happen soon enough. Cancer him up, universe.
Baron Harkonnen is his final form
Bromo Dragonfly overdose gets my vote.
See nothing but unspeakable horrors for months (see: Beksinski paintings) and then watch your arms and legs fall off in real life because it’s a powerful vasoconstrictor.
Ok, wtf?
Some agencies got VERY good at designing chemicals to torture people, to the point where they got so good at it that they ran out of test subjects because all of them started dying/suffered from drug induced psychosis months if not years later
One of their milder products;
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EA-3167
Incapacitating effects can last anywhere from 5-10 days, sometimes manifesting as a full 3-day peak of vivid hallucinations, along with prolonged confusion, amnesia, and inhibition of speech and cognition. Some subjects exposed to the drug would not fully recover for almost 20 days. Even six months after exposure, a few subjects demonstrated significant increases in the scores on the hypochondriasis, depression, hysteria, psychasthenia, schizophrenia, and mania scales. The drug’s potency caught the attention of the military, which considered weaponizing EA-3167 for topical use, potentially even through a handshake.
Oh hey that one is legal, someone just needs to convince him that the kool kids are all doing it so he can join the klub
botched penis surgery
rumor has it he’s already given himself erectile dysfunction with one already
Something mental was going on from the start. The only kid Elon has ever had the old fashion way was his first born with his ex-wife. That child did of SIDS (allegedly, wouldn’t surprise me if Elon smothered it to death) and every kid he has after has been a test-tube baby. My guess is he has always been small and not a grower or a shower.
Oh, and that first son her had that died… Elon lied about holding him in his arms as he died. His ex-wife clarified that Elon wasn’t around when the child died, who died in her arms. He also berated her for mourning the death of her first born child, you know, like an ordinary human being with emotions and compassion would do.
What kind of sick monster lies about their own childs death for sympathy like that? Elon Musk, of course. This is why I trust 0% of the words that come out of his mouth.
Unsurprising. Whenever a guy spends this much of his energy screwing with people I start to wonder if he’s got dick problems.
deleted by creator
you can die from those?
You can die from anything if you try hard enough
Or if you fuck up enough.
Rectally.
Looks exactly like the freak.
How can someone be such a loser. Like, willingly. Who’s to blame here - not bad parenting or childhood trauma - just a loser by choice
His dad somehow manages to be an objectively worse person. He married his step daughter who he’d raised since she was 6 years old, and brags about shooting and killing black men in South Africa.
Don’t get me wrong, fuck Elon, but I imagine he did experience bad parenting.
Don’t feed the trillionaire troll, everybody.
Don’t feed the Trollionaire
Too late, my taxpayer money is being used to send up our astronauts.
Ya everyone should just block him and take away his voice.
Or physically take away his voice box.
…unless its laced with poison… just kidding.
Let’s be real here. Elon Musk would find plenty of reasons to come at any puppet show.
(Because they are attended by children. The insinuation is that he is a pedophile, you see).
Elon loves children. Just ask Ghislaine.
They trained together
“Kung fu practice” reads like jeff talking about “Jerky”
It is definitely some kind of code for sex. Epstein used code words a bunch in his files. He also set up Kimbal Musk, Elon’s brother and business partner, with “girlfriends” on multiple occasions.
He has no idea people are laughing at him, does he?
That man hasn’t had an honest human interaction for 30 years
The bill WILL come due for him. My bet is he flees back to South Africa, where he will be captured and beaten to death. Get it on Kalshi I’ll throw $5 on it lol.
Can I bet he’ll flee to Argentina with his boy toy theil?
Captured by who? Plenty of white supremacist there who will kiss the ground he walks on. Fucker will probably make New Rhodesia with an army of racist Afrikaners and English South Africans.
He can’t hide on earth and his daydream of fleeing to Mars is impossible. Odds are humanity will find a way to snatch him. What his captures end up doing to him is anyones guess. If I were him I’d be begging for the accountability and humility of the US federal prison system.
I hope he likes to Hang around train stations with MAnGo Mussolini.
All of these billionaire oligarchs have put hundreds of millions into lavish underground and offshore survival bunkers; they are fully prepared to hide themselves away from the consequences of their greed and ambition.
With only one thermal exhaust port. Would be a shame if someone were to do something to it.
Stupidity beyond belief in a world with destabilising weather that’s gonna flood
Ketamine addict Elon Musk believes puppets are attacking him
Every accusation is a confession.
Yeah he has plenty of puppets out right now shitting all over the battleground states.
This tells me elon has many employees he considers puppets. These puppets are used by him to trash others as a third party. He doesn’t think anyone would say anything bad about him unless someone else was paying them.
You promised investors self-driving cars. You sold thousands of cars to customers while advertising self-driving cars. None of the cars are self-driving. You should be in prison for fraud.
If nothing else, the SEC should have stomped him a new mudhole by now for in-your-face stock manipulation.
Full self driving by 2016 guaranteed!!
He promised to design a quiet leaf blower. They have that already, Elon. It’s called a rake.
I just saw a Tesla turning in front of me today that was literally stretching, arms up and head back, while the car was turning.
I think it goes beyond fraud, he sold them on an idea that’s actively making the roads more dangerous.
That sounds like a credible threat of violence on Musks’s part. Deport
Damn right
I’m sick and tired of all these foreigners coming to my country, taking my tax dollars and using them on their vanity projects like flying cars and on top of it they threaten me with violence. ICE, arrest that man.
In early 1996, their startup, an early online city guide and mapping tool, got a $3 million infusion from venture capitalists. The investors soon found themselves surprised, according to Kimbal Musk’s account captured in a video of the 2013 event posted on the Milken Institute’s YouTube page.
“When they did fund us,” Kimbal Musk recalled, “they realized that we were illegal immigrants.”
“Well…” Elon Musk interjected.
“Yes, we were,” Kimbal Musk pushed back.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/09/29/us/elon-musk-immigration-gray-area-cec/index.html
Dudes going to taste all chemically and the meat will be stringy. Now he’s perfectly fine for beheading and placing the head on a spike to display as the vultures pick the rotting flesh from the skull. Heck, thats an environmentally friendly way of disposing of billionaires.
Aight. Scrap den.
Are you kidding? The puppets would kick Elon’s ass easily. They are much stronger than him.
Hello puppet seller. I am going into twitter battle, and I want your strongest puppets.
My puppets are too strong for you, traveler.
Make sure you buy puppets rated for fighting an adult man-child born to nazi-apartheid-loving parents.
Sounds like the cheapest I can find will be strong enough for a few of them.
He ain’t ever carried tools to drop
I heard that his dick is all messed up from a failed enlargement surgery. Its believable because apparently Grimes said it to a friend of hers. Its also believable because Elon has definitely had cosmetic surgery, hair transplants, etc so I can totally see him trying to enlarge his dick and it failing (which isn’t uncommon with such procedures.)
You think he’s get his weight taken care of.
Dear Lord, to have a trillion dollars, and to still look like Jabba the Hutt?
Probably, Elon doesn’t strike me as a “real change comes from the inside and takes years of hard work and self-reflection” type of guy.
His weird torso shape is almost certainly a combo of him taking a mix of test and high coupled with semi regular liposuction.
Liposuction removes the fat cells whereas losing weight normally just empties them. By removing them you discourage the body from growing them there again as it takes signifcant effort for the body to regrow them. This leads to weird fat distribution.
His total lack of application for diet and weight training means his roid intake doesn’t go where its meant to. Roids just don’t work without signifcant effort, sure those massive meatheads use roids but they also work fucking hard to get massive
Pause
Thats what all his romantic partners said
Pause
