But you get rusty in moist environments; when you urinate you slowly rot away your urethra.

you have an iron deficiency

You’re literally made of iron

It’s liqud iron.

You are unable to see a wringly shirt without trying to smooth it out

Your suit is stored between your butt cheeks.

All your joints are rusted up because you’ve never properly dried yourself as a kid.

Permanently magnetized

but you physically have a iron defficancy so when you try to fly you just pass out

you’re also an addict

Subscription fees apply, and they’re higher if you don’t get the ad revenue tier.

The breakfast cereal

Crippling alcoholism.