• bandanawearingbanana@lemmy.world
    7·
    6 hours ago

    Hey OP, guess what your parents did to make YOU! They had sex and I don’t mean the normal kind either.

    They had wet balls slapping, pussy gushing raw sex to make you. They really went at it. For days at a time. Creampie everytime with fingers in the arse to stimulate. If you didn’t like reading this maybe consider not shoving your weird morals in our faces we won’t shove our cunts into your face.

    • The Stoned Hacker@lemmy.world
      2·
      3 hours ago

      This is a bit unnecessarily mean. OP made a post about themselves and how they react to a very personal and intimate act being “publicized”. While OP might need therapy, they aren’t shoving jack shit in anyones face. Instead you’re going out of your way to say things that you think would make OP uncomfortable.

      In bird culture that’s considered a dick move.

  • baggachipz@sh.itjust.works
    23·
    9 hours ago

    “We’re trying for a baby!”

    Oh, cool, he’s raw-dogging you all the time and you’re stewing in it ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

  • lemonwood@lemmy.ml
    11·
    9 hours ago

    Embarrassment is an evolutionary adaptation that functions to make social situations work. Individuals who never get embarrassed are less likely to manage social cues, have sex and get pregnant and pass their genes on. So feeling embarrassed is actually proof of all the sex your ancestors had and you could be having.

    Source: none, it’s easy to make up arguments involving supposedly evolved behavior. Never take them too seriously, they are almost impossible to disproof. Countless other explanations are possible. Like it could be cultural or a byproduct of another adaptation or a mixture of different things.

  • 𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆@lemmy.worldEnglish
    30·
    13 hours ago

    Not only did my parents have sex (ew), but also, I didn’t fuckin’ ask to be here. Now I have to do shit like:

    • Have a job,
    • Pay bills,
    • Go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills so I can go to my job so I can pay my bills…
    • Brush and see a dentist regularly,
    • Wear pants,
    • Be anxious, depressed, autistic, and attention insufficient,
    • Take medications for the above conditions,
    • Poop,
    • Pee,
    • Eat healthy regularly,
    • Not get fat despite all of the easy to get calorie-dense foods out there,
    • Schedule checkups with a doctor, and eventually
    • Die

    And society (whatever that is) expects me to have sex and have kids, too! UGH.

  • db2@lemmy.world
    43·
    15 hours ago

    A language shitpost? Interesting.

    “Embarrassed” was a word that meant pregnant out of wedlock, though we don’t really use it that way anymore. The sentence could be read to mean “the thought of pregnancy makes me pregnant”. I’m surprised Japanese comics haven’t found this one.

  • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works
    7·
    11 hours ago

    Many children today have been conceived in a lab, without sex. Their parents may also have had sex but pregnancy isn’t “proof.”

  • JackTea@piefed.worldEnglish
    12·
    15 hours ago

    I like to point at pregnant people and say “I know what you did a year ago!”
    Before they respond, I add, “you went to [insert name of popular baby store]”.
    /This initiates confusion. And then implies, like pet stores, you can also buy baby items and a baby.
    //yes, I know how pregnancy works. I have to find ways to let my weird out

      • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
        4·
        10 hours ago

        When two people love each other very much, they can decide they want to go to a series of various doctors appointments where the mommy gets given new and exciting risk factors and complications and the other desperately tries to keep track of the paperwork.
        Then they have one final expensive doctors appointment and take home their brand new legal liability and tax exception, get ready for all of their new doctors appointments where everyone tries to sort the paperwork, skip sleeping for the next 6-36 months.
        Thanks to evolutionary trickery they will ultimately rate this experience quite highly, on average.

        • toynbee@piefed.socialEnglish
          1·
          7 hours ago

          I was so scared for my wife’s well-being and our finances when we went in for an induced birth.

          Turns out that, health wise, I came out worse than she did; and the whole situation had very little (immediate) impact on our finances.

          Also, I got lucky because we got an amazing kid out of the whole situation.

          • ricecake@sh.itjust.works
            2·
            6 hours ago

            We had premature twins with some common, usually benign side effects. The “emergency C-section” and “dual booking in the NICU for a month” was just a whole thing.

            If it weren’t for having good insurance it would have been financially unrecoverable.

        • toynbee@piefed.socialEnglish
          6·
          13 hours ago

          I once, very stupidly, shared that video with a mother who had recently been estranged from her young child.

          It was a bad decision on my part and, unsurprisingly, didn’t go over well.