What is this guy thinking lmao 🥴🤔

  • Bakkoda@lemmy.zip
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    12 hours ago

    I don’t care if this is real or not, satire or reality but we need like 1000x more of this content everywhere. This is the kind of shit that triggers most of the silent majority crowd. Gargling dongs is apparently the ultimate sin.

  • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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    11 hours ago

    She’s looking at him and thinking, Oh that’s the reason he’s so bad. Good thing I have the pool boy.

  • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    16 hours ago

    Poor wife. She married a guy who’s too afraid to come out of the closet and who can’t pleasure her. I hope they still have a milkman.

  • Rooty@lemmy.world
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    17 hours ago

    I am 100% certain a large amount of conservatives have a massive cuck fetish and they get off on signaling it to the world. Why else would you admit not being able to satisfy your wife on what seems to be a press conference?

  • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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    18 hours ago

    if you are talking about gay sex all the time, and thinking about you might be in the downlow. by the way there are category of porn for gay "white supremecist, conservative types to.

    • Basic Glitch@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      Exactly! Ugh, if these miserable, global extremist, sacks of dog shit hate freedom so much, why won’t they all just go build a man made floating island somewhere in the middle of the ocean and leave the rest of the world alone, instead of dragging us all into a fucking holy war just to force us to be miserable too?

      Answer:

      A. They aren’t actually capable of creating/building anything on their own, and are completely reliant on exploiting others because they’re a bunch of talentless cocksuckers.

      B. They thrive on the attention/theatrics of it all and need a captive audience.

      C. Even if they suddenly woke up to a world where every need was met and everyone was exactly like them, they would be even more miserable nobody was paying attention to them, and still find excuses to go to war with each other.

      D. All of the above (it’s this)

  • sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz
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    2 days ago

    Sometimes I gotta be really thankful that if it wasn’t for dudes like this, women’s standards wouldn’t be low enough for me to get laid

  • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    If you’re having sex with a woman, you’re having sex with someone that likes dick. People who like dick are gay. Having sex with a gay person makes you gay.

    Checkmate libtards.

      • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        The only way to stop being gay is to never touch her again, otherwise you’re touching someone who has touched a dick and by the transitive property that makes you gay. Touching your wife is gay.

          • FrostyTheDoo@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            Yes, and on top of that, pooping is slightly gay. Also, using your hands to pee is gay because you’re touching a dick. Also sitting down to pee is gay. And do NOT wash your penis, unless you’re super gay.

            • Tomtits@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              1 day ago

              Ok, thanks for clarifying.

              I’ve got another…

              What about when you’re out shopping and you’re unloading the contents of the trolley onto the conveyor belt at the checkout and you accidentally touch your wife’s box of tampons/panty liners?

              Does that make you gay??

              I guess you’re already gay at that point for unloading the trolley

              • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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                1 day ago

                Exactly. You’re in the grocery store for something other than beer? Gay.

                And that ignores the fact that just buying feminine products makes you Uber-Queer.

                • Honytawk@feddit.nl
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                  1 day ago

                  I have an other.

                  What if you are in a manly bar drinking manly beer. And you strike up a manly conversation with an other man about lumberjacking or something. And when you talk about sharpening your manly axe, you accidentally touch their hairy hand. Which causes your piercingly manly gazes to lock like the door on a sportscar.

                  So you start talking about WWE and show each other how to perform a death grip with your arms tightly around each other. Then you want to test the strength of their lips, by giving them a manly kiss. And you carry them like a firefighter into a toilet stall to compare your manly leather underwear.

                  And you end up fucking the shit out of each other.

                  Is that gay?

    • SolarMyth@aussie.zone
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      2 days ago

      I’m guessing the logic is:

      Gay people only have sex for pleasure (because they can’t reproduce), therefore, all sex for pleasure is gay.

      Its like saying fish only swim in water because they can’t go on land, therefore, all creatures that swim are fish.

    • Spykee@lemmings.world
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      2 days ago

      Dear Aunt Agatha,
      I own a dick.
      I like to have my dick caressed by other dick-loving individual.
      What does that make me?
      Sincerely,
      All-out-now McJohnson

      • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        You said dick three times in your letter. If you say the word dick that means you’re thinking of a dick, and that makes you gay.